🜂 🜔 🜋

Food I like to make and eat, so i don't forget!

Adding to the bottom unlike most flounder pages.

★ denotes difficulty

Chia seed pudding ★

• 1/4 cup rolled oats
• 2-4 tbs chia seeds depending on the size of the jar
• vanilla, teeny amt of salt, cinnamon, maple syrup
• fill the rest of the jar with milk, shake and let set for a few hours in fridge, overnight is best

helps me poop :)

Peanut Noodle ★

cooking chicken tenderloins in mayo, lime zest & garlic add another star

this is vegan if you don't add chicken

toppings: red or savoy cabbage, carrot, pickled jalapeno, g. onion, cilantro

ramen noodles preferred, somen isn't bad, soba isn't good here.

Nachos ★

you can put whatever tf on nachos and they will be pretty good. black beans are pretty essential to make it feel like a real meal though. fresh avocado is a treat

Grits & egg bowl ★★

partially cooked tomatoes and/or green onions make it feel fancy, bacon if you're feeling nasty

two cracker barrel cheddar cracker slices add the perfect amount of cheese

1-3 fried eggs

Cabbage Rolls - Golubtsi ★★★★

even though it was kinda a gauntlet, these fed me for a long time, and I still have leftovers in the freezer! I want a bigger mixing bowl before i attempt again. Also makes the house smell like cabbage (bonus?) I boiled the cabbage to remove the leaves instead of freezing it because I hate planning, it was kinda fun though.

next time cook the rice less so it will absorb more of the beef fat.

https://vikalinka.com/cabbage-rolls-golubtsi/

egg bagel sandwich ★★

always yummy. wrap in foil before eating to keep it warm and to melt the cheese (deluxe american of course) add sambal oelek too. You can add leeks or g.onion to the eggs while cooking, go nuts.

steak with arugula salad + bread ★★

I feel very cunty making salad dressing. dried cranberries or fresh strab + walnuts + feta. Cold steak on the salad, or hot steak on the side. the polenta bread from loaf is perfect to eat with this

redwine vinegar + olive oil + honey + mustard + salt + b. pepper

bagel & cream cheese ★

add avocado or fresh berries to make it less depressing

monk bowl ★

rice, soy sauce, kimchi, fried egg. hell yeah. you can add more but if you're eating this it's probably for a reason

ravioli but fancy ★

after boiling store bought cheese raviolis, put a bit of finishing olive oil in the pan and throw some halved or whole little tomatoes in there until they are softened and blistered. Pour over pasta, shake some feta on top of everything. voila

soba veggie stir fry ★★★

another vegan one (for my hypothetical vegan friends)

I was making something like this for like two months straight, awesome summer dish.

oyster mushrooms, (red) onion, zucchini, shanghai choy or another cabbage, and firm tofu (bonus) honestly put whatever vegetables u want.

cook the tops and bottoms of the shanghai choy for different amounts of time, the leaves cook in like 5 seconds, while the bottoms need more time.

onion cooked hot and hard with shaoxing wine, soysauce and rice vinegar is the main event, everything else doesn't matter that much. oyster mushrooms are so good with the onions. oyster mushrooms are so good, period. dont bother getting them anywhere other that the asian market, whole foods sells them at 3x the price.

tofu is pressed, cubed, tossed in cornstarch (generous) and fried. then sauce is added to it when it's done cooking. You could do the same with chicken tenderloins if you like, but grilled. fried could rule tho

tofu sauce (idk about these exact amounts)

• 2 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tbsp shaoxing wine
• 1 tsp brown sugar or honey
• few drops of sesame oil
• cornstarch slurry

grilled cheese ★

its like the egg sandwich but without the egg. good with tomato soup.

hot dogs ★

another one that might seems stupid to note, but lets all think about hotdogs for a bit

potato bun, nathan's bun length weenie, y.mustard, neon green relish that has a very specific but unplaceable flavor, ketchup

i wish i was brave enough to try the bright red hot dogs that are named after tobacco #northcarolina

french toast ★★

fucking awesome breakfast or treat

if i ever learn how many eggs is perfect i should note them here. 2 eggs? milk vanilla cinnamon. its the same as chia seed pudding. Serve with maple syrup and freshly made whipped cream. perfect with strawberries (cooked or raw) my little pyrex rectangle is wonderful for soaking the bread in (one at a time though)

old dog dinner ★

might seem a little sad but it contains like 80% of your daily nutritional needs i s2g LOOK IT UP. takes 0 brainpower to make and it pleasantly bland for when flavor is unappealing to me. Thank u for my life, dogfood dinner.

baked sweet potato (420° for 35-60 mins, cook until 200°), black beans, rice, topped with sour cream.

it would be even more nutritious if i liked eating the potato skin, but i don't, sorry.

brick chicken (brickless) ★★★

while the chicken is good, vegetables cooked in chicken fat is even better

skin on chicken thighs cooked skin down in cast iron pan/dutch oven, removed when cooked. My friend places a brick covered in foil on them to get the skin nice and crispy. Cook long strips of zucchini, yellow squash, carrot, g.onion and fresnos in the fat until they are softened. serve with egg noodles or another carb

mommy pasta ★★

carla music alfredo. can be a little tedious to get the sauce right, more butter helps.

daddy pasta ★★

like mommy pasta but with an egg yolk to help bind the sauce. easier but annoying because now i have an egg white. I just pour it into the trash, sorry. If i had a dog that would be where it would go.

greens and eggs ★

Frying eggs and spinach together in the cast iron pan. It is also good with beans too. Pour rice vinegar over the greens, but not directly onto raw egg, it'll get weird. Cooking this in the cast iron feels important, the greens and the eggs look so pretty in the black pan. Add some cherry tomatoes into the pan too!

ramen ★

Mama brand creamy shrimp tom yum instant ramen. 6 minute egg. Put thin mushroom of choice + baby bok choi or similar into the bowl with the dry ramen, add boiling water n cover for 3 mins. Then mix, top with halved boiled egg, cilantro and kimchi. My favorite meal when i lived in a place we called the beach house.

sausage pasta ★★

broil a snausage or two while boiling pasta. Dont forget to score the sausage skin or it can burst and start shooting oil directly into the broiler flames making a fucked up sausage flamethrower. I just tried the raos cheesy tomato sauce and its preeety good. Steam broccoli or something to have with it too, eat ur greens bitch.

soren's big and greedy meal replacement smoothie ★

its a smoothie, but fucked up and nasty (in a good way) Do you hate cooking and eating in the summer? me too bitch, lets make an 800+ calorie smoothie.

Base:

• frozen banana - idc if you dont like bananas, they are critical for optimal smoothie texture
• frozen berries - if you like other fruits thats fine but some blueberries are important to make ur smoothie a gorgeous purple
• frozen avocado - honestly i only added them to use up the bag, there is plenty of fat without them, also tastes like grass
• milk of choice as liquid to make it blendable

I used to use whole milk but any fatty/protein-full milk is fine, just dont use juice or water.

Ok now are the calories:

• big scoop of peanut butter
• big scoop of full fat (of course) greek yogurt or cottage cheese
• scoop of protein powder and/or collagen of choice
• 1/4 cup old fashioned oats
• tablespoon chia seeds, flax seeds or hemp hearts (or all three! idk!)
• mango nectar/other juice or honey if it needs to be sweetened
• I added a small handful of baby spinach for kicks this time and like, idk it makes it taste worse but whatever. Its just 5% more grass flavored.

The exact ingredients change depending on what i have around, its just great to toss whatever lamenting bit of fruit or whatever in there and when its done it tastes like a Smoothie. You can add or remove extras to make it more skinny or bulky, but make sure it has ample fat and protein.

banana - 100 cal

berries (~1/2 cup) - 40 cal

avocado - 60 cal

milk - 150 cal

peanut butter - 190 cal

yogurt - 50 cals

protein powder - 100 cal

oats - 100 cal

chia seeds - 50 cals

sweetener - 30 cal

870 calories~ doesnt that just excite you? ultra perverts can add a tablespoon of olive oil or two.